A little too optimistic

So, my last post I was overly optimistic. It doesn't look like this virus is going away anytime soon, and as usual, life is constantly changing.

The last few months have been so confining, as in, we are not leaving the house, not seeing friends, all of the stuff everyone else is doing. However, it has also been a time of expanding change.

I was living with my daughter, son in law and the grandkids. It was wonderful. I was able to pay off one of my credit cards, build a little bit of an emergency fund and start on my way to FI.

Then the reality of three adults, working from home, with two elementary aged kids home all the time, made the house seem very small. We were talking about how to make it work if this was still the reality in the fall, and my daughter found out she was pregnant. Very quickly we realized that they needed the space I was occupying for their expanding family.

So I found an apartment and within two weeks was moved. This caused me to dip into my emergency fund a bit because I had downsized so much. Not only was I living in a smaller space, but I was planning to move across the country.

Now I had to replace all the things I had sold in preparation for the big move. It was a little stressful. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to spend any money!

I'm in the new apartment and it has come together very well. My expenses, of course, have gone up a lot, so I'm working on a new budget and trying to figure out how to still pay off my remaining debt, build a retirement fund, and rebuild my emergency savings.

It's stressful, but I feel like I have a better foundation since finding the Choose FI podcast. We'll see how the budget goes!

My stimulus check

Got my stimulus check today. Oh the things I could buy! I know we are supposed to use that money to stimulate the economy, but I also know, I need to pay off my debt!

As I sit here with an extra $1200 in my checking account, the shiny things beckon. I talked with a friend of mine and she wants me to book a vacation with her after all of this virus mess is over. I tried to be responsible, told her I needed it for retirement. Her response? No one knows what the future holds, or even if we'll   have one so we should enjoy today.

She makes a valid point, none of us know what the future holds and I think many people my age feel the same way. They feel that they should have started saving for retirement thirty years ago, and since they didn't, they should enjoy life while they can.

What happens when you are 65,67 or 70 and have zero savings? My friend has three daughters so maybe she feels a little more secure in their help. I have one child and I don't want to shift my responsibility onto her because I didn't make good choices.

As I talk to more people about retirement, I hear so many things. Many people think that Social Security won't be around for them, but they are still not saving. Some people think they will sell their homes and live off the proceeds. Some people are just flying by the seat of their pants.

I'm going to do my best to be responsible. I will buy an inexpensive gas grill, the grill I have is almost 20 years old and frequently catches on fire, no matter how well I clean it. Other than that, I'm paying towards that Kohl's debt. The interest rate is ridulously high. I'm still trying to decide if I will pull money out of savings to pay it in full or just put the remainder of my stimulus check towards it.

On one hand, it would be so good to finally be free of that debt. On the other hand, we don't know what will happen with the economy. I'm not sure I should take almost half of my savings to pay down debt.

One thing I won't do is spend it on the list of "wants" that lives in my head. I don't need any of those things and I know that buying them would lead to other purchases and the spending would continue.

I just checked my Kohl's account and my balance is $1699.92, I think I'm going to do it. This will only reduce my monthly expenses by $100 but the relief at having that paid off will be worth it. I have been paying a monthly payment on that Kohl's card for over ten years. It's time for it to go!

I'll admit that I'm scared. I finally have some money in savings and a pandemic hits. That little bit of savings gives me a cushion, reduces my stress. What if I need that money? I don't want to add more to my MasterCard because I used my savings to pay off Kohl's.

I'm overthinking it. I'm going to pay off Kohl's. If I need money, I will find a second job, even in this crazy reality we are living in, places are hiring, grocery stores, delivery services, I'd be able to find something. Here goes nothing- or everything, only time will tell!